Trevor's New Shoes

About 40 days into the first thousand, I took my sons to a local park near where I grew up. We walked along a tributary creek to the Sweetwater River where my brother and I used to catch crawdads; now a dried out concrete culvert. I pointed to the Target Store across the street and chuckled while I told them about the first time my friends and I excitedly walked into the store. In the early 1980’s there was an archery range on the southwest corner of the park. Naturally, when the old FedMart sign was replaced by a bullseye, we thought they built us a huge bow and arrow store! It wasn’t a total loss, as I bought many a GI Joe Action Figure and Halloween costume there over the years. More recently, on the way home from Trevors 7^th birthday celebration we made a last minute stop there to buy a copy of “A Christmas Story”. Yes, the park had changed some; the playground and ball fields were in the same location but sandbox and metal slides were replaced by recycled-tire rubber mats and plastic swing sets and jungle gyms.

On that day, this wasn’t the only major change I noticed.

While Trevor and Jojo were running around the playground, the strap of Trevor’s croc-style shoe broke. He was hesitant in telling me about it, as he surely expected some type of punishment. Like any red-blooded American man, I had a few things in the trunk of the car that could possible help remedy the shoe situation. Alas, the type of plastic the strap was made of along with the shoes’ construction made this impossible.

So the next thing I did was check my wallet. Cool. I had enough to buy him a new pair. There was a Walmart nearby, but I don’t like going there for only one thing. Too much hassle and usually poor service. Of course Target was an option, but the shoe quality there isn't much better than at Walmart. So we decided to go to Ross and it proved to be the right decision.

Twelve bucks for a pair of Velcro-strapped shoes that light up with each step. What 5 year old wouldn’t want that?! Even better, the original price for the shoes was $50 so we got a great deal. That left me with enough money to get them Happy Meals and continue their play at the McDonalds playground nearby.

The scope of the change didn’t dawn on me until several hours later, when we were well into our nightly Three Stooges marathon.

In the old days, there would have been a strong likelihood that I would not have had the money to buy a new pair of shoes. It would’ve been pretty much a guarantee that I would have punished him in one way or another and I would have ended the day and gone home right then and there. In all honesty, I would’ve been secretly pleased to go home early; that would have given me the opportunity to open a beer that much sooner. Also, if I did have the money, I would’ve bought the cheapest pair of shoes I could find, to ensure that I could afford that beer. And of course, I would have been bitter because it likely would have meant having to get a 6 pack of 12oz cans instead of a 6 pack of 16oz “tallboy” cans.

But none of that happened. We had a great day and I had one of the biggest examples of change yet. My reaction to Trevor busting his shoe, my handling of the situation and the way I reflected on it all was indicative of the changes in me as a man and more important, the changes in me as a father.

Less than two months before, I walked into the place that changed my life, carrying with me little more than a few dollars and a nothing-else-to-lose mindset. I had driven every positive character trait out of my being and replaced them with denial, selfishness and regret. In those early days, as I shared my stories with others who had been through it themselves and those who were fellow newcomers, many of them would compliment me for going in on my own. When I would think of those compliments, I was reminded of the poem/prose “Footprints”.

There was only one set of footprints walking into that room on that first day.

And they weren’t mine.

I was carried in by My Higher Power; who I sometimes refer to as God, other times as Creator. After all, what’s in a name? From that day forward, there were always two sets of footprints, even when it looked like I was walking alone. I may have been lonely at times, but I was never alone.

And when Trevor walked with me, he was rockin’ one kick-ass pair of shoes….