So, four decades have passed since I saw light for the first
time and the doctor said to my mom “It’s a boy!” In recent years I have been
more reflective on the day before rather than on my actual birthday. I guess it’s partly due to just enjoying being
with my family on the actual day and thoughts of my departed mother and how she
must have felt in the hours before my birth.
Just as much as I reflect on my own life, I reflect on the
world around me and the changes to it during the past near-half century. On the
day I was born, there were still U.S. troops in Vietnam, Elvis Presley was
still alive and Sanford & Son was the highest rated show on television. Since
then, I have learned to walk, how to throw a baseball (with middling skills), and
string an arrow to a bowstring as well as a few things I would prefer to
un-learn. Initially, I planned on sharing my thoughts on life so far as well as
the vast improvements that have come to my life in the past three-plus years.Yet I have realized my posts and blogs have always done that. In my writing the two things I focus on most are the gratitude I have and my hopes that some way, somehow my words are able to inspire others. And if the following doesn’t inspire any of you at least a little bit, then no one or nothing could inspire you. I am not trying toot my own horn, so please bear with me and read on.
Many of you have heard and/or read about some of the unfortunate occurrences in my life over the past several weeks. A brief recap; my wife’s grandmother passed away a week before Memorial Day. On Memorial Day, my wife was planning on enjoying the new waterfront park and our plans were dashed when we learned that our only car was stolen.
A week after that; which was the week we laid her grandmother to rest; we received verbal threats from our neighbor in a disgustingly typical example of one person blaming everyone else for their own decisions. Unfortunately, the person still lives right next door to us and as often as I pray for my families’ safety, I pray just as hard that I am able to avoid the possibility of being forced to defend the safety of my wife and children at all costs. I have experienced every emotion a human being can have and let me tell you, the feeling of your blood running cold is the ugliest feeling I have ever had. Yet I am ready, willing and able to do anything and everything necessary to ensure that our right to exist in peace is upheld.
And those of you who have known me for more than a few years know how the passing of Tony Gwynn affected me, or at least some idea. Personally, I am not sure that I will know how much that loss will affect me for quite some time.
I took an extra day off in order to hold a three-day celebration with my family. To be honest, it was not so much about celebrating myself; it was more about having a golden excuse to take some time off and be together. I had all three days planned out, starting with a trip to our summer home downtown on Sunday for my first ballgame of the year. Come to think of it, knowing I am on pace to go to the fewest games ever this season make my stomach churn nearly as much as it does when I think of how that piece of human excrement still lives next door to us. Annyyyyyyyways, we had a beautiful time at the game and of course, the pregame tailgate party.
Then, recent hardships continued when on the way home from the game, our car broke down. Having no idea what the problem was, I trouble-shooted the problem with my meager knowledge of cars; to no avail. At that time, our plans for days two and three were in jeopardy. Thankfully, we were able to keep dinner plans with my sister in law along with some of the closest members of my Padres family. Still, our plans for today were shot
That’s when I realized that not having our car for two days
made #40 one of my best birthdays ever…
Due to not wanting to be stuck at home, we spent the day
with my aunt at my grandparents house. Some of you may be aware of the fact
that both sets of grandparents were/are neighbors and the homes are still in
the family. On the day before my birthday I stepped out into the patio and saw
three large houseplants that my mom bought several years ago. We always had
houseplants growing up and in my early twenties I developed a passion for them
that she and I shared together. The plants had been a little unkempt over the
years and it pained me to see them in such poor shape; a far cry from what my
mom’s plants looked like and a lot less than my own plants began to look after
she passed her green thumb down to me. So I spent over an hour aerating,
watering and trimming them. Just as she taught me, I found ideal spots in the
yard to place them, one thrives under direct sunlight while the other two need
more shade to grow properly.
As I was finishing up, I rolled the garden hose up and thought
about my grandfather. “How many times did
he roll up that very same hose?” I asked myself. I miss my departed loved
ones every day but of all the days of the year, my birthday is when I miss them
most. Yet, did I not have the opportunity to share an afternoon with them? The
soil under my fingernails was the same soil my mom worked with so many years
ago and the tools I used were the same tools my grandfather worked with. On top
of that; there’s a good chance he bought those very tools at the same Home
Depot where my mom held her last job in where else? The garden section. It was
as close to being with them as I could possibly have been and the fact was not
lost on me.
Financial issues relating to the car repair costs canceled
my long-standing tradition of visiting the San Diego Zoo but what we did in
instead was even more special, even more sacred than going to the Zoo. Those of
you who know me and my heart know how big of a statement that is.As I heard Happy Birthday being sung to me for the second time in as many days, I teared up as I held my daughter Layla Laurene in my arms. My wife and sons were by my side, as well as three of my aunts; representing both sides of the Ress and Gonzales Tribes. To my right stood my grandmother Mary Gonzales; who turned 87 just two days ago. In short, I was surrounded by four generations of my family.
Had the car not broken down, I would not have had that
moment. We would have been at the Zoo, Jojo and I sharing the wonder of the Klauber-Shaw
reptile house while Mommy sat a safe distance away eating cotton candy. Had we
not been under the stress of having the large repair bill; I would not have had
the opportunity to have one last (for now) afternoon working on the plants with
Mom.
When the car broke down and my family was safely at home, frustration
started to boil over. I’ve punched a few walls in my day and I thought of that
every time I looked at the windshield. Yet thankfully I have stuck around long
enough to learn that doing such a thing would not only not help, it would have
made things much worse.
I look back on that moment now and I realize that when I
falsely assumed I was at my breaking point; when I was just one stubbed toe or
a skinned knuckle away from dropping to the ground into a sobbing, pitiful heap
of a man, I was actually at a point where things were falling into place to
create what I consider not only one of my greatest birthdays of all time but
one of my greatest experiences on any
occasion. Which tells me one valuable lesson; a lesson I have been trying very
hard to learn these past few years.
No matter how grand your plans may be, God often has much
bigger, better plans for you….
